hello hello

I have sooo much to say about 1000 different things... all you faithful blog readers out there - get ready for this one...

ok - where to begin...

yesterday I was feeling kinda down - trying to figure out "what is true and real joy?" I was so happy to be back from the NHF PT retreat and happy to see my work friends again - but within about an hour or so - I was down, depressed, sad, mean, etc... It's amazing how work can do that... so I went outside to get lunch and thought and prayed.... "Is this joy?" Do people really LOVe what they do? or is this just an urban myth? I don't LOVE this job - I just do it - there are days that it's funny - some that are sad - but most of them are just "ok" - so what should I do...?
I thought about it and siad - maybe it's not joyful because it doens't feed my soul..... so what "feeds" my soul? THE WORD! ministry.... but even that gets tiring... so then I wondered again - am I called to ministry? who knows?

after some more thought later last night, a brief discussion with JA and some sleep - I came to the conclusion - work is not feeding my soul - AND it shouldn't - we are in this world and we have to deal with it but we are not OF the world. Therefore, I must find my source of joy and happiness in Christ. All the more reason to spend ample time with HIM - knowing HIM, praising HIM, and loving HIM.

what else...

a former student of mine was dating a druggie in school - and we just found out that she OD'ed on aspirin b/c he broke up with her... how sad - she's in the hospital - please say a prayer for her - she's a bright girl who made some foolish deicisons... totally sad.... hope she gets better and she's that she is worth more than that...

and there's more...

a student came to school today - opened her bookbag and a roach crawled out - about 5 seconds later another one crawled out - ew!!!! totally gross... thank God that didn't happen in my room - i would've had the creeps all day!

um... how do you tell someone to "grow up" in a nice way? when you figure it out - let me know b/c I need to figure out how to say that to some people... at what age or point in life does one learn to take criticism well? When did I learn to do that? When did you? How do we deal with criticism? I guess we try to see it from another's perspective and for a specific purpose and then we can understand better...

hmmmm... gosh.... what else is there to say? oh - computers in school - they're only helpful when we have access to them? What's the point if three people in a building have a special key to the computer room? When you cannot find one of them - or they're in a bad mood - you can't et to a computer - that's pretty ridiculous.... and it drives me nuts...

I am so thankful that I have a quiet place to come home, be loved and relax. I just came home - made my yummy pasta - some good o' Texas Toast and rested. =) Thank God for home. =)

I hope all of you remember how blessed you are in the midst of all my complaints...

and remember - as PEd said on Sunday - "Consider one another AND consider how you can spur one another on towards love and good deeds."

This was a tough day for that - but i'm trying nonetheless.

love
jkoahn